Dang I hope everyone's new years is gonna be better than mine. All my plans kinda just went away as I became more and more antisocial.

On a better note. I love this song.

i wish i could say this

Enough with the women, they don’t see past the chain
I don’t see passed the ass, two can play the game

I don't have the money or women. lol

Now that I'm single I have all the time in the world to focus on myself.

Better social skills: more eye contact, smile more, better listening and feedback, be more interesting, better story teller, K.I.S.S., be a better friend to those that matter, be a better family member.

Better habits: self reliance, attempt to be cleaner/not make a mess, healthier (workout more often), study, be more knowledgeable about different areas.

Change the world by changing myself.

Still Hate You.

I still hate you and your daughter. I will find you. And you will get what's comin'.

Hi Lisa. This was inspired by you so if you think I sound crazy, then you are too! :)

One Handed.

Been drinking heavily the last 5 nights. I don't plan on having to hold two hands up to count how many nights so that was my last...No I'm not doing it because I'm depressed.

And I've never had so much entertainment listening to Mexican music on TV.

K1mberisbester

Man, within the last half month, I personally know 6 couples including myself who went from taken to single with another couple brewing in the process. I guess just a bad month?

For those of you that don't know or care, Kim and I aren't together anymore. Long story short, we have been pretty shaky the last 2 weeks and one thing I said (no harm intended) was basically the fatal stab. She broke up with me but it's somewhat mutual I guess. Or... well, if I had the option I would try to work things out because that's just me and I honestly still love her a lot more than I showed her. I've been lucky to be surrounded by friends new and old who keep me occupied to dull the pain a lot.

It's those times where I'm laying in bed trying to sleep or when I first wake up where I have more time than I'd like thinking. Just thinking. A lot of what-if's and what could have been. We talked it over and decided that it's best we don't talk right now, but we made too much of an impact on each others' life to never speak again. And I do plan on talking to her in the future, perhaps near future. I don't really know yet. I will just know that it's gonna hurt when she gets a boyfriend. Jealousy trumps optimism unless I find an equivalent. But as of right now, I'm being pretty optimistic about being single and whatnot. I mean, it's really been 6 years since I've been single. Right now it's gonna be ME time.

If you ever read this, or if you happen to stumble across this post, just know that I meant everything I text you that one night. I truly am sorry for what I said the other night. It was meant to be harmless with good intentions. I hope that you can eventually forgive me for what I said. You mean and meant a lot to me. I consider you my first true love. Thanks for teaching me new things everyday. I'll be ready to talk when you want to. Anytime. And I'll be there for you. Always. I know I'll miss you even if I'm surrounded by friends and yes, even if it's girls. I know you're probably wondering about that. I wish that one day, we can be good friends because we never got a chance to be and I hope you find what you're looking for. For the record, I do think that you're beautiful. I still love you so don't forget me, because I will never forget you...

"I just wanna go all in right now and bust both of you simultaneously." - Scotty (6:28AM)

I can't sleep right now. It's only 12:30 but I must wake up early to study some more about different forecasting techniques, aggregate planning, etc. before my midterm at 7:15.

I'm so tired right now. I think I'll use the term "drained" but my mind won't stop wandering. It's jumping around between old memories of friends, Kim, life. I am physically exhausted having slept only 6 hours starting at 7AM. I am mentally exhausted from studying as soon as I woke up until now. I am emotionally exhausted not knowing what the next step is in this relationship I am in. All this, yet I still lay here in bed thinking and listening to the hum of my laptop fan and my roommate snoring across the room. It's too quiet.

Nothing can drown out the thoughts of you...and that scares me. I wish I could sleep.

Shady Fucks

What the fuck were you thinking when you sent it?! I hope you know everyone is a worse person probably because of you. You guys should know better...including you, you fat fuck. And you, playin' it off with your sorry ass excuse.

And yeah, we took it personally. But I'm lookin' and it seemed boring anyways. Meh.

*Dirt off my shoulders.

You Got Me Gigglin'

Dang I just had a crazy ass dream about JP being hella crazy and wanting me super bad or something. Kinda scary.

Just In Case

Just in case you wanted to see what's been consuming my life for the past 5 days. Let's just say the priority of my hygiene, social life, girlfriend, and other classes were lowered. 12 pages of noggin boggling math that isn't THAT hard; just hard to organize and translate into words.