I decided to stop with the whole WordPress thing since it ended up being a shit talking blog. But yeah, I guess here I am!!! Back again at Blogger. I think I like this blog because people follow me, BUT no one really uses it. Get it? Like, I like writing with the idea that people CAN be reading it I guess, but I also like the fact that no one really uses it anymore because I don't want everyone knowing my dirty secrets or whatever shit comes out of my mouth.

But yeah, I've been jobless for 4 months now on paper. 3 months technically because I was working under the table for a month at Sunny's aunt's sushi restaurant. http://www.yelp.com/biz/hayward-japan-grill-hayward. Yeah, this place has 3 stars. Sentiments aside, I think this place rightfully deserves 4 stars. Shiiiiiiet, especially since I started working here. I manned the place myself as the only waiter at the busiest of times. The place offers pretty good food for dirt cheap prices (comparative to other sushi joints).

My personal financial reserves are running pretty low though. 3 months. I guess that's what I managed to save up working close to 2 years at the Sheraton. I think the standard people suggest is that you try to save up an umbrella of 8 months. OH WELL. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't exactly cut back on going out, having fun, buying frivolous shit. I honestly can't say I regret it though. YOLO hahaha. I don't even like that term. Quitting the hotel is probably one of the best decisions I've made in 2012. Not a very good year so far, so I guess that has to be the best even though it left me jobless. It might have even saved my life. I lived a reckless lifestyle when I was working there with school, dog, gf, friends, work. It's not that the job functions are hard, or the complaints you constantly had to deal with. Rather, it's the stress from the lack of sleep I get working there. The 6:45AM shifts on Friday's, Saturday's, and Sunday's that would kill me when I decide to go out to celebrate my closest friend's birthdays. The stress knowing that people are fucking giving my managers bullshit excuses not to work on certain days, or calling in "sick" when I know for a fact they are fucking watching sports or whatever. The stress comes from managers buying that bullshit and how it directly affects me when my coworkers decide to skip a day due to "sickness." No one I know working at the front desk is happy there. I got pretty close to a lot of them and more than half of them would quit instantly if they got offered a $0.50 increase in wage elsewhere. No one is happy working the front desk. You, along with the sales team, do the most work. But sales doesn't have to deal with the bullshit the front desk does. But wait, we get paid a bleak $10 an hour while the people that do the same amount of work and deal with less crap gets salary. Ask me why the turnover rate is so high for the front desk. I dare you.

Moving forward. Looking for a career job is quite difficult when you lack relevant experience. But I finally (hopefully) have found mine. Tonix Corporation made me go through a phone interview, a 1.25 hours second interview, a third interview lasting 1.5 hours and they finally let me know asking for references. Does that mean that I got the job? Shooooot I hope. This company is something I'm definitely looking for. Startup...well kinda. It's family run and owned existing since the 1970's. But the point is, it is still in its growth stage. A relatively small company with a real family feel to it between all the employees (even the ones that aren't family). It makes it even more exciting knowing that it isn't wage but salary + commission + yearly bonus. I will be out of the dumps after I take care of my family. I'm not even expecting a lot for salary. IMHO, it's only my first job and I will work for next to nothing to get that much deserved experience.

As far as personal life. I'm still hardly talking to Henry. At this point, I can't tell if it's by choice or not. I don't want to blog about what happen because it's just going to bring back bad memories that I don't want to revisit. Que sera sera right (whatever happens happens). It makes me sad but at this point I don't have the balls to talk about the situation that happen whether it's my fault or his.

I'm not with Yannie. I think it's been close to two weeks now. Maybe one. I dunno, it feels kinda lonely but yknow, iKnow, and shKnows, that we won't work out. I'm glad she realize what pretty much drove us to the point we're at today. I'm glad she realized that all this fighting we're doing doesn't make us stronger and it was actually hurting us...me especially a lot. When we had our talks after our breakups, she pointed out that I'm far from a good boyfriend. I can't say I disagree. She longed for what I had with other girlfriends--the part where I will make them feel special, loved, etc. But she also didn't realize that for her, I did it in a different fashion. I did sweet acts, and praises, whatever for my other girlfriends but at the same time, I was flirting with other girls. I deemed that I was a good boyfriend with Yannie because I wasn't flirting and talking to other girls. Girls were pretty much non-existent in this relationship with her. But I guess she wanted more. The thing is, I guess I really don't have that capacity. Not yet at least. We learn and we grow and that's what I continually try to do. C.A.N.I (Continual and never-ending improvement). BETTER than YOLO hahaha. I have to understand that I can only do so much with what I had to work with. If I can't take care and love myself, how am I going to do the same for my girlfriend. I dunno. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not on the prowl like I use to be. I never was before either. But whats different now is that the girls I am talking to are just old friends and not like potential people I wanna hook up with. Linh, Tharina, Krisha, etc. All with boyfriends, and all I once considered really close friends of mine. Time to mend these relationships.

And it's time to watch AWAKE.